Just a warning this may be a tmi post. I won’t be offended if you stop reading right now.
My aunt has arrived once more and she brought the trolls with her. I don’t know which is worse – the disappointment that we are not pregnant or the pain. Some months I have cramping so bad all I can do is huddle on the couch with a heating pad and some pain killers. This is apparently one of those months. I always tell hubby that the cramps feel like evil little trolls have invaded my body and are kicking and clawing my female parts. He didn’t use to get it – but somewhere along the way he started too. Once again I am reminded how much I love him and how much he loves me. Tonight I had to stay late at work, when I hobbled in the door in a hunched over position I was greeted with a hug, a heating pad, and hubby asking if those blasted trolls were at it again.
I hate the roller coaster of emotion that always strikes at this time of month. Even when you’re sure you’re not you still can’t help that little bit of hope that tries to convince you you are. That hope breaks my heart over and over again, but I’m sure if I stop feeling it – it will mean I’ve given up and I don’t ever want to feel that.
I’ll try to be back for a cheerful update tomorrow. Tonight I’m going to resume my pity party. I’ve got my heating pad, tylenol pm, and some chocolate brownies. I’m going to crawl back to my nest and hibernate some more.