Rough Day

Yesterday was definitely a rough day. I was able to get WeeMan into the doctor at 6:20pm. Of course that really screwed up our evening schedule – dinner and bathtime – but he was so sick he didn’t really complain about it. In fact by the time we got to the doctor he just wanted to be in my arms. The doctor checked his ears first. I figured we were working on ear infection number 12 or 13… but turns out it wasn’t an ear infection it was strep throat… a pretty bad case. Poor little guy. So we came home with antibiotic and popsicles. He is absolutely not to go to the sitter today and possibly not tomorrow. While I love being home with him, I hate the guilty feeling I have for missing work. I also hate the planning I have to do for a sub. Seriously it’s more work for me to be gone then it is for me to be there.

The other rough spot yesterday came from some news I had. My friend -the one I posted about a few weeks ago with the pregnancy rumor story – called and left me a voicemail last night that she is definitely pregnant. I knew something was up when I got two semi frantic messages from her while taking care of WeeMan. Turns out she announced it to her small group yesterday – and then panicked because she knew I would hear it from them so needed to call to tell me. She told one of the girls that she just can’t get excited about it – but that hopefully I can help her be excited about it. Hmmmmm I’m pretty sure I’m not the person to talk to right now. My feelings are hurt because of the whole lying when I directly asked her if she was scenario – see the older post. I’m happy for her, but as someone who can’t just get pregnant on their own, I’m also jealous and dealing with my childish “It’s not fair feelings” I know, I know life isn’t fair and God has a plan… but I need to deal with how I’m feeling before I can make her feel good about something I’m not sure she even wanted for the right reasons. This one part of me – the dark side – wants to tell her hubby and I have decided not to have any more kids, that one is enough for us b/c we don’t want to be tied down…. blah blah blah. It would be a complete lie, but the dark side really wants to see what her reaction would be since I’m about 80% sure the reason they started trying out of the blue is because we said we had an appt with Dr. B. Don’t worry I won’t cross to the dark side and I did send her a text telling her congratulations last night. It was just too crazy with a sick WeeMan to call her back… plus I was hurting and was afraid that I would say something I would later regret and who calls their struggling to get pregnant friend and announces on their voicemail that they are pregnant. That seems a bit harsh. We have been trying again now for a year this month. One year, she was off the pill for one month…. I’m going to go throw myself a mini pity party before WeeMan wakes up – so I can get the blahs out of my system.

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