Heartsore

I have a confession to make. I’ve been pretty heartsore and resentful lately. It seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant. And while I am happy for them (I really, really am) the 13 year old in me still finds herself longing to stomp her foot and shout to the Heavens “It’s not fair” Yep as a logical adult – I know life isn’t fair and that’s not what it’s all about. Shoot I’ve even found myself telling my kiddos at school that “Life isn’t fair” when they’re whining about some such iniquity – but I still find myself in that frame of mind.

I’ve shed some tears over the past few weeks over our longing for another child. But I’ve tried darn hard to put on a happy face for my darling hubby and our little man. (For all the good it’s done – just last night hubby asked me what had been bothering me) I’ve prayed some and read my Bible some – not enough and with a hint of resentment in my soul as I read and prayed. Then today as I visited blogs one in particular seem to be speaking right to me. (Sugartails has a way with words – but these words hit me in my sore heart.) You can read her full entry and see her beautiful pictures here http://sugartails-glowingirl.blogspot.com/ These are the words that really hit close to my heart.

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.” Psalm 130:5

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him. ” Isaiah 30:18.

In her beautiful post and words I was reminded that I hadn’t been waiting. I hadn’t used the patience He had taught me just two years ago in the journey to have our first son. I had once again been trying to put things in my schedule and frame them out in the way I thought they should happen. I need to take that resentment and that hurting heart and just put it all back in God’s hands.

I need to remember this
“Things that are impossible for people, are possible for God.” Luke 18:27

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3 thoughts on “Heartsore

  1. Oh, old friend, I'm so sorry for your heartache. It seems we all have to learn these same lessons over and over until we finally get them. I get repeats myself. I'm so thankful God's words comforted you at the right time. He's gracious that way . . . but I understand still having those "unfair" feelings and that resentment even as we pray, but what's beautiful and honest is that you keep on talking to Him. And really, that's what He wants. Praying for you to get the desires of your heart — and for Him to continue to reveal Himself to you.

  2. {{{hugs}}} Waiting is so hard. It's a struggle when we want something so wonderful so badly – to remember that God has the best thing all ready for us. I'm so sorry for your pain.

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