Day full of Grace

Today was a day full of blessings – from the small to the big.  I’ve added them all to my gratitude journal but I need to talk about them on here too.  (Just a warning the last one has to do with our infertility journey – so if you’re worried about tmi – you might drop out at that point.)

First blessing was a surprise two hour delay – b/c of the bitter cold the busses wouldn’t start.  That means we didn’t have to be at school by 7 – we could wait until 9.  Funny to find a blessing in the bitter cold isn’t it?

Second is silly but my Girl Scout cookies arrived.  Yum!

Third – we had a great day.  I got to teach the kids about the founding of our country and we had a great discussion about democracy and especially religious freedom – we were discussing why different groups came to America.  I love history – I love making them realize how important history is.  I love the light bulbs that go off when I explain they have to know history because someday they will be our leaders and if they know the mistakes that we made in the past they can make better choices.  I love seeing the dawning awareness when we discuss what religious freedom means and I shared a bit about my pastor’s recent mission trip and how there are places in the world that even today in 2011 you can be imprisoned or put to death for worshipping God.  Those are the moments when it starts to dawn on them what it really means to live in America.  Plus we did simplifying fractions in shaving cream and they had a blast.  (They were like kindergarterners – nobody was trying to act to cool to do the work or be mouthy)

Fourth – I got chosen to host another HouseParty – this one for Philly’s new cream cheese blends for cooking and I got my response back in time to qualify.  If you’ve never heard of HouseParty you should really check it out.  If your application is chosen you get a ton of cool free stuff for hosting a party to introduce a new product.  I did a fabreeze party this summer and this will be my second one.  You get coupons and free product and then other perks – I think this one is recipe cards, a GreenPan, hot mitt, things like that.

Fifth – a wonderful friend posted this article on infertility on her Facebook and it touched me and spoke the truth.  I was really blessed that when my husband and I started down this long road I had a best friend who had been here.  She was not scared to answer questions and tell me about her journey.  Once I told her about how I hated the unfairness of it all and she told me she believed God had given her infertility to her so that she could help other people.  She had had occasions to pray with women in the hospital where she worked who had been through miscarriages and struggled with infertility and she helped me so much.  She said that in a way it was her way to make a difference and it was a gift to her.  I decided at that point not to be ashamed of any of our journey and to share what we were experiencing with anyone who cared to listen. Through that sharing I have prayed for blog friends and with friends and family that are going through this.  I’ve been able to tell them what to expect from certain points of their journey – without all the medical mumbo jumbo and just my personal experience.  Not being afraid to speak out has let me witness to others about our WeeMan and how God worked through our IVF – there is no way WeeMan would have been here without God.  Yep there’s days when I’m angry and sad and mad and I feel like a failure because my body doesn’t work…. but I never feel ashamed.  God gave me this journey for a reason and I’m sure it wasn’t so I could hide in a closet.  (Okay I’m putting my soapbox away and moving on now – please go read the article though.)

Finally – Today is cycle day 1.  (I’m as sure as I can be – I think- I’m so messed up that I find myself wondering how heavy is heavy enough to count for cd 1.)  But anyways I’m off to Dr. B first thing in the morning for an u/s.  We will be starting a ganirelix cycle.  Not sure of all that entails so I’m going to have to do some more research – sounds like things may go quicker.  Just praying that this is our miracle cycle right now.


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