The news was not good today. We are definitely not pregnant. I’d forgotten how crushing the negatives can be. Isn’t it funny how you try so hard to convince yourself you’ll have peace with whatever God’s answer is, yet when the answer comes and it’s not the one you want to hear – it still breaks your heart into a million tiny pieces. Can’t seem to stop crying and hugging my WeeMan tonight. I’m sure he’s thinking mommy’s lost her mind. I keep wishing they’d call and tell me there was a mistake and they read the test wrong…but I know they’re not going too. I even came home and took a home test – like that would be more reliable than a blood test.
We’ve got two more tries. I’ve made an appt for Apr. 12 to talk to Dr. B about what our plan is. He was booked solid until then, but that will give us time to regroup and mourn. (I know we’re mourning something we didn’t really have, but stll that’s how it feels.) Maybe by then I can put the pieces to my heart back together.