Today was the first teacher’s day. Usually a busy, but sane today. This year however decided to be different. Oh it was still plenty busy… but sanity flew out the window at lunch time.
At lunch time our principal announced that he had to send one of us to another school here in town b/c of our enrollment being less and their’s increasing this year. Since we are currently in a budget crisis there’s no money to hire a new teacher for the other spot so someone has to move buildings and classes two days before kiddos arrive. Of course most of us were there this week all week working on prepping our rooms. First the good news – I don’t have to move buildings. One of the others teachers volunteered to take the move. However at 4th grade we were down to 16 kids per room – so that was the grade that lost a section. (Nevermind the fact that the upcoming fourth graders are the lowest achieving class in the building and also full of serious behavior issues. ) Now before everyone gets all up in arms I feel I should tell you that my principal was thoroughly generous and offered to find a way to let me stay in fourth even if it meant shifting half a dozen people around and I should also say that one of my coworkers immediately offered to be the one to switch if it meant I could stay. See I was the lowest in seniority at that grade with only 14 years, but they all know we’re in the middle of our ivf and they wanted to do the thing that would stress me the least. (I really am blessed to work with some of the people I do)
Of course I’m all jacked up on hormones right now and am a hormonal mess … so I cried. Then I went down to my room and took the hour I was given to think and weigh options and once I was done being hormonal and sad and mad – well then I could see the good side and the logic in what my principal was suggesting. Our open spot was a Title 1 spot – which is pull out support for low readers. It’s paid through a different fund… so honestly there was no way that my coteacher could take the spot. She’s at the top of the pay scale. The positives certainly outweighed the negatives. Less paperwork, less recordkeeping, no math teaching, I wouldn’t have the behavior issues of 20 some kids all crammed in together -especially since so many of them were serious issues, no sub plans when I’m out, I can be late in the morning for bloodwork and not worry about who’s covering my room or having to take a half a day. I’m sad b/c I’ll miss having my own classroom and I’m a hormonal mess right now. But logically now that I’m a few paces away I can see that this will be best for my family and for me. I can also see that maybe this is a total God move. Maybe He is trying to take some of the stress of our family so this pregnancy will go well.
Sometimes it’s just hard to find that silver lining – especially if hormones are involved!
Tomorrow I go back for my second HCG. I took another home test tonight and the line was definitely darker than the one I took last night. I am praying that my numbers more than doubled in the 48 hours. If they’ve gone up more than enough… well that will certainly relieve some of my worries. They’ll be checking my estradiol and progesterone too. Hopefully all looks terrific.