Okay I’m feeling pretty lost right now at work. A little useless if you will. I’m waiting to be trained on the two programs I will be implementing this year. I’m also waiting to get master passwords so I can get to testing info on the kiddos in fourth and fifth grade. I’m definitely not complaining… but if I were staying busier I think the 22 days of torture – I mean waiting would pass more quickly.
Yep – 22 long days until our ultrasound. 22 long days of worrying and waiting and trying not to be overly hopeful. I’ve taken three home tests and each of the three was darker than the one before. In fact the last one the control line was as dark as the test line. I’m just not very good at the waiting – if you weren’t aware patience is something I struggle with often. I know that my numbers looked good at the doctor’s office and I know that I have to have faith… but sometimes that trusting and letting things be handled by God – well that’s HARD. I know I know – prenant women go through this waiting all the time. I know that they can’t do the u/s any sooner if they want to see the heartbeat… but grrrrrrr. Why is it I tend to expect the worst?
In the meantime I have a few minor pregnancy signs. I’m exhausted by late afternoon and I get heartburn often. But I’m sure I’ll continue to worry while I wait.
I am also in a tough spot right now. One of my best friends wants another baby as badly as my hubby and I did. She was so hopeful that this month would be it for both of us… but while I was getting good news on Friday her body was giving her the bad news. My heart hurts for her. I’ve been there – I’ve been the one with empty aching arms while my friends are pregnant and it hurts. I keep praying for God to guide my words and actions around her. I know she’s excited for us – but even still I know she’s hurting. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say and to act natural when you don’t want to hurt someone worse.
Yep I’m praying about a lot of things lately. Protection for our baby/babies, patience while we wait, Faith to trust, and Guidance with my friend. Good thing God doesn’t get tired of hearing from us!