I passed a large blood clot tonight and had some residual bleeding with it. Bleeding seems to have stopped now and I am not having any cramping… wasn’t when I passed the clot either. We’ve called the doctor and he says there’s still hope. I was scheduled for progesterone and estrogen tests in the morning – we are adding hcg levels and at my request and u/s scan although it may be too early to see anything. Tonight I am just to lay around – continue my meds – and pray.
I was thinking today that I wished I had my husband’s faith. He’s been steadfast since the first two tests believing that everything will be okay. Not me – I’ve been the ostrich with my head buried in the sand too scared to be too hopeful. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don’t know if this is God’s way of teaching me to give things up and just trust in him… maybe it is – when I prayed for patience he gave me the opportunity to be patient.
I’m fighting so hard to keep hope alive. I know that my God is amazing. He can do all things and I know that He can bring the dead back to life, part the sea, make the waters stand still, and make the sun stop in the sky. I know that he is the creator of all life, yet I am struggling to give this to him to trust him to make everything okay.
Please pray for our family tonight. Please pray for a miracle.