Work has me exhausted this week. Most of my kiddos are being as good as can be expected two weeks before Christmas, but there is one that just wears me out daily. Our class spends most of the day tiptoeing around him, hoping we don’t set him off. Usually we only set him off when he doesn’t get to do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it – or if I (now here’s a gasp) ask him to do some school work at school!! (I know how dare I have the nerve!) I just keep thinking hang in there I can do it.
I’ll admit that part of my problem in the last couple of weeks have been from non-school related things. I’ve been fighting a little sadness. My heart aches a bit with longing for a baby – for a sweet little girl. Most days I am fine and I am okay with WeeMan being our only, unless we finish up the adoption process – but other days are a different story. Some days it’s like a fist to the heart squeezing and twisting, until you gasp for air. I know that my sister’s approaching due date has a lot to do with these aches. Truly I am so happy for her – but I can be happy for her and sad for me at the same time. I also know that it’s just flat out the holiday season – the longing, the missing, and the stress, all rolled into one. I’ll pull through and I’ll be stronger for it. But knowing that in my head and getting it with my heart – are sometimes two different things.