Back to School

We’ve been back in school for 4 weeks now, and I’m trying to figure out my schedule and my class and find my gumption.  So I just haven’t been much in the blogging frame of mind.  I know this time of year always exhausts me – and I know I’ll find my groove soon (I hope) but until then I’m living day to day – sometimes hour to hour.  This group of kiddos has me struggling a little more than usual this year.  They’re great kids – I’ve got some real sweeties in the bunch, but the mix of kids together isn’t flowing as easy as usual.  I have a lot of very BIG personalities (which I love) and when you get too many in one room those personalities start to clash and crash and play off each other.  My first two weeks  were actually great – the week before this one was okay.  This week though – well it was rough.  I think the kiddos are finding their comfort zone – which equals more of their personalities coming through (not usually a bad thing).  By Thursday I was in survival mode – putting out fires where I could until I was completely exhausted and honestly heartbroken.  Heartbroken for my kids at school and my WeeMan at home.  (when you put so much of yourself out in your classroom sometimes there’s not much left for your big boy at home. )  In desperation I turned to my principal and cried in his office after work.  I’ve got a plan for next week – thanks to him.  I came home and cried some more to my husband and I prayed and asked my friends to pray too.  I know I’m just going to have to lay it  down for God – I’ll be spending a lot of time on my knees handing this school year to Him I suspect.  But overall I feel better – we wrapped up the week with a terrific study trip to the Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo and I made myself a bracelet to help me remember to Lay it Down. I spent the weekend resting and laughing and eating and napping and laughing and putting myself back together.  And I’m looking forward to spending tomorrow worshipping and praising and laughing and resting some more before heading back on Monday morning.  

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