My Little Angry Bird

WeeMan decided he wanted to be an Angry Bird for Halloween.  Largely due to one of his best friends being one too.  We’ve known this for about two months so I’ve been tossing costume ideas around in my head.  We found an actual costume at the store for adults. 

I wasn’t too impressed. 

So I decided to get crafty and make my own.  It ended up being super cheap – just the cost of a red t-shirt and stocking cap.  I had everything else on hand at home.  It was also incredibly easy.  I put it all together in less than an hour.  Here’s what I did.

WeeMan is a small sprout – so I started with a childs large red t-shirt.  (for a bigger child I probably would have used an adults – you want the shirt to be BIG)

The cost of the shirt was $4 at JoAnn’s – probably could have found it cheaper if I had started looking earlier or had used a coupon – but $4 still isn’t bad

First I cut off both sleeves taking the seam with them

Then I cut off the collar with the seam. (I forgot to take a picture of this step) I also widened and dropped the neck in the back so that it would be easier to tie later on.

Next I cut across the shoulder seam and then trimmed the seam itself off.  (It should look a bit like an untied sundress with wide straps at this point)

While I was in the cutting frame of mind I cut a small slit in the inside of the hem

Here are the shoulder after I tied them.  I Probably could have gotten the sewing machine down and cleaned up all the outside edges… but I didn’t

I found a long piece of red ribbon and threaded it through the slit in the hem bringing it all the way around

You will draw this up and tie it to make the bottom balloon a bit.  We debated stuffing the inside with crumpled newspaper to make him fat… but I don’t think we need to.

I used some sticky backed felt I had on hand and cut a large oval for his belly.  I also cut two dark rectangles and stuck them directly to the knit hat.  They aren’t permanently there, but they’ll do.  If I get to feeling energetic, I’ll tack them on. 

WeeMan is wearing a red turtleneck and red sweatpants we already had under it.  The cost of his costume was less than $6.  Not bad at all in my book.  And clearly he’s a happy Angry Bird!

The Pumpkin Patch – lots of pictures ahead!

We went to the pumpkin patch this weekend.  The sun was shining and it was a perfect fall day for searching for a pumpkin.  You wouldn’t believe how difficult it is here in Indiana to find a patch that lets you go out in the field and pick your pumpkin.  Is is that hard other places??  Luckily we found one not too far from home.  I just felt strongly that I wanted WeeMan to go out and pick his pumpkin off the vine.  I wanted him to see how they grew and to understand that they don’t just come in boxes at the supermarket.  Yes – sadly I’ve had some kiddos in school who didn’t know that.

We went with my little brother, and our friends from church.  WeeMan and M had a terrific time.  Who am I kidding we all had a great time.                 

WeeMan and Uncle Ry on the bench WeeMan was very protective of his apple – didn’t want anyone stealing it!

Our family pic

Sweet baby fingers and grin

Okay Momma enough with the pictures already

WeeMan and M and her baby sister

Weeman and M again… they are so sweet together

Princess M on the hay mountain

The tractor that pulled our hay ride… there’s just somthing about an old tractor

WeeMan chomping on the apple

WeeMan and Momma – I love this picutre of us

An Update in Pictures

In case you were wondering what we’ve been up to lately, I thought I’d share some pictures and a short update…. be warned there’s gonna be a lot of pictures!

We played fireman – and some of us didn’t wear pants!

Funnel cakes were consumed while riding piggyback at Johnny Appleseed festival. (Hubby says to make sure and assure you that that’s powdered sugar not grey hair!)

Visited Johnny Appleseed’s grave

Mountains were climbed

Ducks were picked at the street fair

Cotton Candy was inhaled (Not the same weekend as the funnel cake!)

We partied like a rock star

And we crashed like one too!

Did some excavating in the backyard

Drove a pink jeep – fast!

Fell in love

Demanded faster better wagon rides

Fought over our new love

Figured out how to share

Explored a soybean field (This is one of my favorite pictures)

And wrapped it all up by shaving with dad

Whew! We’ve been awful busy, but I promise to get back to updating this week. 

Bittersweet

Today was rough – who am I kidding the whole weekend was rough.  I’m drained and exhausted and hurting and mad and sad and sick and wondering when it all ends.  Maybe it wouldn’t have been so rough if my body would cooperate.  I thought that the physical side of the miscarriage was over.  I had cramps and bleeding (lots of bleeding) last week on Thursday.  Other than that there was nothing until Friday this week when I started cramping and bleeding again.  I’ve called and talked to the nurse at the doctor’s office and she said it’s still part of the miscarriage – not my period like I thought at first it may be.  I know that’s part of why I’m so exhausted – my body is just not cooperating.  I feel like I could hibernate under my covers for a week at least and probably still emerge exhausted.  Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions of taking care of my family and my home.  I want my life back! I want my hope back! I want my heart to stop hurting and my body to stop bleeding.

My mom and brother came to visit this weekend and it was good to have them here.  To have some help with David.  Our friends M and M came for a cookout Saturday with their little Cutiepie.  There were moments this weekend when I felt almost normal.  I’m thankful for those moments – for friends and family coming round and to know that their hearts are aching too.  In the normal moments I even managed to garage sale.  I found two powerwheels for WeeMan.  One was a small Diego fourwheeler – I paid $10 for it and we let him have it now.  It’s in great shape and I figure I can resell it for at least $20 next summer.  The other is a bigger FisherPrice Kawasaki fourwheeler model.  We’re saving it for his birthday.  I paid $40 for it and it too is in fantastic shape.  There were moments of joy watching him race around the yard on his fo-wheeler and seeing that smile of delight. 

There was bittersweet joy at church today.  Our good friends from church asked me to hold their sweet baby girl since they were teaching in WeeMan’s class during service.  It was precious to hold and cuddle that little baby.  But my heartached b/c I know I won’t be cuddling our little bean.  I spent the service with tear filled eyes and returned sweet little girl with tears in her hair.  But I cherished every moment of cuddling I was able to have.

I’m so full of hurt and questions and I want to turn to our church family for support and help, but things are rough right now at church and hubby and I have even been considering finding a new church.  Some things have been happening that have us questioning whether it’s the right place for our family.  It just seems like life is crumbling around me and I struggle to find the energy to pick up the pieces.  I know if I can’t I’m letting the devil win, I’m trying to pull it together and I’m thanking God everyday for my sweet hubby – who’s hurting with me and yet still is full of hope and faith and the strength to carry us through.  I’m also thanking God for my WeeMan who knows mommy’s heart hurt sometimes and tries to fix it with cookies, kool-aid, bearhugs, and kisses.  I know that I have blessings and I’m trying so hard not to lose sight of them all in my haze of hurt.

I want to come back – I want to be blogging about recipes and crafts and happy things.  I’m sorry my blog is a debbie downer lately.  Thank you for bearing with me and praying for my family and for caring for us even though you’ve never met us.  You are one of my biggest blessings.

Back to the Real World

Our family picked up the pieces and tried to go back to our normal schedule today.  It was rough going for hubby and I.  I think WeeMan was glad to get back to his friends and playmates at the sitters at least.  Going back to work meant telling people who knew we had had good news the week before – that everything had changed Thursday night.  Going back to work for hubby meant quiet time to think and reflect – and I don’t think that he thought that was a bad thing.  Going back to work for me meant trying to stay busy – so I couldn’t think.  I know people mean well, but if I hear one more person tell me “God must have another plan” I think I’ll scream.  I get it I know that God has another plan.  I can understand and comprehend that.  What I struggle with is why he had to give us those days of hope – those moments of joy last week…. if they were never meant to be.  That’s what hurts the most.  In some ways that’s what is shaking my faith.  I know in my heart that all of this has to be some part of some bigger plan.  But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

So we made it through the day.  I cried some and I smiled some and I even laughed a bit.  It felt good to be able to talk to some of my friends and one of the girls who has been where I am.  It felt good to be hugged and to be cried with.  (I’m not sure good is the right word – it felt semi- healing.  I guess we all go about the business of picking up the pieces and finding our way. 

WeeMan and I even ventured out to a friends house this evening.  On the way home we were surprised by a rainbow in front of us.  It hadn’t even been raining – but there it was.  It reminded me of before I was pregnant with WeeMan – when I was in a LOW, LOW place.  When I was searching and nearing giving up.  I was broken and battered.  I pulled out of the grocery store parking lot – and there it was a rainbow – and that time it hadn’t been raining either.  Just like then – I’m taking it as a promise – a promise that everything will be okay, eventually.  There’s going to be sad days and hurting hearts – but eventually we’ll be joyful again.  I came home and planted to gorgeous orange mums in the front flowerbed.  Our reminder of our baby beans for years to come.

I’ll wrap up with some happy pictures from the zoo, my superhero boy, and today’s rainbow.

Trying

We spent the day wandering around the zoo.  We decided we couldn’t spend another day in the house being sad – that for WeeMan’s sake we needed to go try.  You know what – surprisingly – well we had a good day.  Oh they were moments where we brushed away tears.  And there were times I had to just stop and catch my breath – but we were together and we were trying.  I spent the day still praying for a miracle.  Begging God that one of the beans is still in there holding on and growing – that tomorrows blood test will show rising numbers.  In my head I know that it’s not likely – but in my heart I have to hope.  On the way home from “The Help” I got mixed messages on the radio.  The first was “Our God” by Chris Tomlin

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, Our God…

Into the darkness you shining

Out of the ashes we Rise

There’s no One like You

None like You.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, Our God…

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, Our God…

It was immediately followed by Mandisa’s “Stronger”

When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

The pain ain’t gonna last forever

And things can only get better

Believe me

This is gonna make you stronger

Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger

Believe me, this is gonna make you Stronger

Try and do the best you can

Hold on and let Him hold your hand

And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus

Oh, lift your head it’s gonna end

God’s right there

Even when you just can’t feel Him

I promise you that He still cares

So I’m not sure what message that I’m supposed to be hearing.  I know God has this all in His hands and I know that He alone is capable of making this into a miracle for us.  But I’m struggling tonight – this weekend.  I’m struggling to understand why –

I went to see “The Help” with a couple of my best friends tonight.  I forgot about the miscarriage – but I didn’t cry.  I think I cried myself out last night – when my WeeMan asked me if my heart felt better and if baby corn was in my belly (we’d been telling him he couldn’t climb on mommy’s belly b/c she had baby beans growing in there) My heart broke when my hubby hugged him and told him the baby corn was with Grandpa now keeping him company in heaven.  Nope guess I’m not cried out yet. 

Wrapping Up the Week

We had a great wrap up to our week. My bloodwork yesterday came back terrific. My HCG was up to 519 which meant it was up 94% in 48 hours and they like it to at least double every 72 hours. That means no more bloodwork for awhile. (Unless Dr. B wants to check my progesterone and estrogen) Our next appointment is Sept 7 in Carmel for an Ultrasound. That’s only 25 days away – right now I’m looking at it positively. My hormones are all over the place right now so sometimes 25 days seems like another lifetime. I’m relieved that the numbers look so good. Things were a little shakier with Weeman so I’m hoping that this is a good sign. I know I will worry off and on throughout this pregnancy – but I don’t want to worry as much as I did with Weeman. I am going to try to resist the urge to rent a doppler. I’m going to try not to be obsessive. I need to start researching local OBs and trying to find one. The doctor that delivered Weeman is teaching now instead of doctoring … whimper and I’ve just been going to the guy who took his place for now – but I will need an OB since I will have another c-section. Plus I don’t love the replacement – he’s just okay for now.

Last night was date night. Our sitter leaves for college in a couple of weeks. Poor WeeMan is going to be heartbroken. He loves when Heather comes over. She’s been our date night sitter since we started our once a month date nights when d was 7 or 8 months old. Big night for hubby and I. We went to Fort Wayne. Had dinner at Logans, hit the clearance at Fashion Bug to use my rebate, picked up some fish at PetSmart, and then wrapped up the evening at Menards to get a new weedwhacker and a trash can. (Hmmm when did date nights become so romantic? LOL)

We spent today browsing a few garage sales – didn’t find much – some books for weeman and a rain coat for him. Then we went to Walmart for a birthday gift and some groceries. ( I hate getting groceries there cause it always seems to cost more – but it was convenient.) After that it was home to do laundry so I could hang stuff out to dry. Then we were off to a birthday party and a quick stop at the fire station to see the trucks. Whew! It was a busy day. If they are all as packed as that the time will fly.

Here’s some pics from this week.
Playing at the park on Wednesday

MJ’s birthday party

Driving the firetruck

Keeping my mind busy

Thank God for my friends and my family.  They help me keep my mind busy so it gets a break from worrying.  Today WeeMan and I ventured to the city with my friend M and her daughter El.  We stopped at the local farmer’s market – yummy sweet corn and tomatoes! Then it was on to the city.  I did think to load up my totes of WeeMan’s nice outgrown clothes and stopped by Once Upon a Child to drop them off and then we made our way to the zoo.  It ended up being a good day.  When we first arrived it was overcast – which kept it from being too miserable and it wasn’t too crowded.  By the time the kids had visited the farm, Australia, played in the fountain, and ridden ponies the crowd had picked up and the sun had come out.  We decided to call it a day around 1:30 after stopping in the  African Veldt to see the lions and feed the giraffes. 

We grabbed lunch at Steak and Shake – hey after all that walking I deserved a treat! Then we stopped by Once Upon a Child. They had found a totes worth of things to buy for $70 in store credit. So I blew through $50 of it today – mostly on my niece for her birthday, but WeeMan walked away with a few things. His favorite being a Fisher Price Imaginext T-Rex for $6.50. I found it on Amazon for $64 when we got home! My favorite find for him was a pair of Converse All Star Chuck Taylor’s with skulls in a black and grey design. Super Cute!!

Plans for the rest of the weekend to keep me busy are church tomorrow and then I’m trying out a 2 week cycle from the  Once A Month Family Favorites Cook Book

I’m pretty impressed so far.  It lays out your shopping list and your prep for the cycles meals step by step, and the meals seem to be things my picky family will eat.  This cycle is a lot of chicken dishes and I’m trying to adapt them so they are Weight Watcher’s Friendly.  The best part is I was able to pick up most of the ingredients at Aldi’s for under a $100 and the rest I got at Krogers for around $30.  Should help me stick to the food budget since it will definitely last us longer then 2 weeks.  A lot of the meals serve 6 or 8 – so I’ll divide them when I freeze them then I can space them out and we’re not eating a ton of leftovers.  Hubby even helped me with some of the chopping tonight! I was super surprised by that!

Nerves of Steel?

I guess I haven’t updated much this week.  It’s been a bit crazy – so I think I’d better do it in bullets to help keep my mind straight

* The biggie this week was our egg retrieval which was on Wednesday.  They were able to get 13 eggs.  Of the 13 only 10 were mature enough for ICSI (injecting the sperm into the egg – due to hubby’s issues we have to do this.) On Thursday we received word that 7 of the 10 were showing signs of fertilization.  We began to plan for transfer on Saturday.  Due to timing they plan for a 3 day transfer with the hope of doing a 5 day blastocyst transfer instead – depending on how they look on day 3.  Apparently the odds are much better of implantation on a 5 day transfer.  On Saturday morning we headed down to Carmel.  We were about 3/4 of the way there when we got the call that everything looked great and they wanted to push us out to Monday for a 5 day transfer instead.  Of the 10 – we were up to 8 – one showed late signs.  Of the 8 – 3 were grade three , 2 were grade 2+ and 2 were grade 2.  Grade 4 is the best possible, but is only given for a perfect embryo and so therefore is given very rarely.  We continued on to Carmel for bloodwork – which looked good and since we were there – we stopped at a super nice Goodwill.  Anyone familiar with the Indy area knows how nice Carmel is.  It’s the rich side of town.  So tomorrow is the day. I’m still praying b/c I know in my heart that in the end this will come down to God.  That none of it is possible without His Hands and Work.  I know so many of you are praying for us too and I can’t begin to express how that feels to know so many people in so many places are all praying for us.  I thank you all.

* What else?  Well Hubby and I are WeeMan-less for now.  He went off with Grammy yesterday night so that I can lay around on the couch with my feet in the air for a few days after tomorrow.  He’s such a big boy.  No tears.  In fact he said  “Miss you lots, Mama and Daddy.” and climbed right in her car and demanded to go to her house.  I know he’s having a blast down there – we talked to him today for a few minutes and he’s all jabbery and happy.  It’s quiet here though.  Hubby and I declared last night an impromptu date night – partly to get out of the quiet house.  He’ll be back on Thursday.  Until then I’ll be trying to will our beans to stick.

* Friday night I managed to have a Tastefully Simple Party.  (Yep isn’t my timing grand?!) It was fun though and I had a good turnout. 

* I’ve spent today preparing for being inactive the next few days.  In other words, browsing Amazon for books for my Kindle, cleaning like a fiend, cooking dinner tonight and making enough for leftovers,  preparing a crockpot soup for tomorrow, and finishing laundry.  All that’s left to do tonight is put away said laundry… I know if any of it’s undone while I’m on bed/ couch rest – well I won’t be able to be on bed/ couch rest… b/c it will make me insane. 

I think that’s it – my last few days in a nutshell.  All filled with a constant silent, sometimes outloud, pleading prayer for a Sun Stand Still miracle.  

Yumminess and Reasons to Smile

For dinner tonight I tried out a new recipe I found on Shannon’s Kitchen Creations (thanks Alexis!)  This recipe was for zucchini cakes.  Of course you know me I adapted a bit.  My version only ended up being 1 ww point+.  Not bad at all.  For the most part I was happy with the results too – but not thrilled with the pictures.  Guess you can’t have it all.

First shred 1 large or in my case 2 smallish zucchini – squeeze as much of the water out as you can

Next add 1/2 cup panko, 1 egg, 1tsp minced garlic, 1/4 c shredded parmesan.  I also added salt and pepper.

Mix it all together

I used my Mister to spray the pan with evoo and got it good and hot.  Cook on both sides until nice and brown (I didn’t really cook mine long enough… oh well next time I’ll do better)

Here’s the finished product.  I was able to get 8 cakes out of the recipe

Here’s my dinner tonight – 3 zucchini cakes (4 points) and a tomato.  Yum!!

If you haven’t guessed Hubby was at the shop playing tonight.  Otherwise there would have had to be some sort of meat.  WeeMan wasn’t real impressed either – even with ketchup.  He ended up having cereal for dinner and I’m okay with that. 

After dinner WeeMan and I headed out to water the garden and my flowers.  We got some rain last night – but it’s been so dry it just wasn’t enough.  We hooked the sprinkler up in the garden and then filled out watering cans out of our dwindling rain barrel water supply.  Of course after we were done watering all the flowers WeeMan reminded me we had to play in the sprinkler (in our clothes b/c who needs swimsuits for splashing in mud!)  We had several races and I even got to be Lightening McQueen one time – of course that was the time he was versing a big monster truck so I still lost!  That sprinkler and those races temporarily washed some of my worries away as I was reminded how blessed I am.

These put a smile on my face too.  I just love me some black eyed susans!

Hope you all found a reason to smile tonight – in spite of the miserable heat.